Nasty Side Of Friendships

Warning: Extremely long post (approximately 5 pages worth in Microsoft Word Document)!!!
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Some friends do harmful things to you. Some do it so they could feel good. Some do it because they had no choice. Some just wants to see you go down. In my whole life, since the start of say, Kindergarten, up till this very year, my experiences of friendships with different people, have somehow made me become aware and rather, experienced. I've had many many friends. Very few of them were forgiven by me because I made an effort to, some of my friendships were regained because I wanted them to forgive me and I felt entirely remorseful. As for the rest, no offense if you're reading this and you aren't a friend of mine, I clearly gave up. The end result was giving up. That's what I'm used to. Giving up. Like, I gave up the dream of becoming a lawyer (that was my previous ambition), and I decided to pursue Journalism (still am, and I fear one day I may just give this dream up because by then it'll be too late to pursue another dream).
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The point is, I will make an effort if I want to and if I don't see any good out of it, I will give up. Back in Primary School, I've had a 'best friend' who used me to the core. He made me do his homework, yah you can laugh now, he influenced me, he taught me how to scold (thanks anyways), he would hit me if I didn't listen to him (only someone knew about this but we drifted apart, not because of any problems, but because we went different classes, and we slowly drifted apart), he would make me hit other friends and he would call me his servant. At other times, he called me his best friend. I'd give anything to find this guy and whack him. After a few months, I was intolerable. I mustered up my courage and told him off. Then, I became skeptical -- of everyone. I had little friends, only two. I didn't eat in the canteen because I had no one to eat with. The two friends, Iskandar and Sean, and I regularly hung out at bookshops or after school.
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Primary School was very tormenting, I'd yearn to get out of that school. But, see, friendships aren't the reason why I want to get out of my current school. It's more of like, the desire to go Polytechnic rather than staying in this school. Back to the point, that guy, Lee Min Jie, I heard he went to St. Patrick's. So, I've got a church friend who goes to that school and I think he said he's studying there. I go to my Primary School every Teacher's Day so I could find him and beat him up. I swear, I'll beat him up. Not only was this friendship torturous, it was my first. The first ever 'best friend' I could ever have. It gave me insight on how nasty friends could be and no one showed me the good sides of having friends. But, there's always happy endings. I knew more friends when I came to Secondary School, I was just like any fish in the sea. I still keep in touch with Iskandar and Sean. But of course, everyone knows, you can't always have friends that are nice. There were bound to be those who wouldn't be so nice after all.
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As the years progresses, many friends lost, many friends gained. You can't say you won't stop making friends with anyone because that would be cynical, but you can't say all friends won't backstab you because surely there would be one who would. You can't call me a good friend because I'm telling my past, because I know I'm not a good friend and I'm learning. You don't have to choose sides, but you have to know both sides. My side is this, I have to be strong so I can't fall down. I was weak when I was in lower secondary. But, you would be lucky if no one betrayed you or did anything to hurt you. Because, I'd call you Angel. Everyone's bound to have someone being betrayed. I know I've betrayed some of my friends because apparently I liked the girl whom my best friend (a guy) liked first. I've stupid friends who would whisper into each other's ears and then look at me and they'll smirk. So, I'm not trying to say I'm a good person, or a good friend. I'm just showing my point of view.
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Now, we all go straight to the main point. The reason why I'm blogging about this. I'm sure it's very obvious by now that things are going on between (C) and (A & B). (A is me, B is my best friend), (C is the other party). The first two weeks, many of you might have noticed, that A and C aren't talking, B and C aren't talking. It's incredibly obvious that A and C aren't talking because they are in the same class. C gets to tell everyone her opinion and while no one's coming to me to hear the other side, I find it's fucking unfair. So, I'm telling you guys now. Stop going to C and then assume it's my fault. I'm going to say the same thing if I were C, stop going to me and then assume it's C's fault. Because, I'm sharing my side. Whatever you think it's whose fault, it's entirely up to you.
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Oh, by the way, remember a few posts back, I stated that something was going to happen? This. Now it's the time. While C gets to share her sides and people automatically assume it's my fault because it seems like I'm always at fault, I'm going to show my side. I can only say the people who know about this matter is Stephanie, Jasmine and a few of C's friends and I want you all to know my side. I don't want to be the one who's keeping mum about these matters and I will have to fight for B and my rights. We're tired of looking like the bad guys.
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One told me this, "C told me that she stopped talking to A and B was because we didn't let her go to the gym". The other said, "C told me she stopped talking to A and B was because we didn't want her to mix with someone". Why is C telling subsets of the main story and made it look like WE are the evil ones? HMMM...
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Issue #1:
(A & B)'s Side
C, if you're reading, I'm telling you this, that conversation that happened was HALF of it and the rest are going to be displayed here. OK, it all started with the Mid-Years. C skipped Mid-Years because her friend D's relative had passed away. We're sorry for D's loss but the paper is just an hour and having an extra hour with D to accompany her is not a big difference. Yes, I've got the conversation saved (but that's only half of the whole issue, C doesn't know the whole issue, or maybe she does?). A and B specifically told C that we let her go meet D as long as she wants, whatever she wants to do with D, she can, because we are not controlling C, as long as C just turns up for that one-hour paper and goes off to meet D, then it's totally fine.
(C)'s Side
C tells someone we didn't let her mix with someone.
That's one issue. So, you've heard both sides. Judge this now.
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Issue #2:
(A and B's side)
Yes, we were angry at C for lying to us about having called the teacher and saying that the teacher told C that she needn't come for the paper. So, I went to see that teacher and that teacher totally didn't say anything. We were angry at C for telling us she told D that she had Mid Years and C told us that D said 'Mid Years Only!". But we guessed she was telling a lie, we asked her and she confessed. There's no C's side because apparently MAYBE she doesn't want people to know she lies. Tsk.
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Issue #3:
(A and B's side)
As many of my classmates know, I'm seen as one of those troublemakers who irritate the hell out of teachers, along with my accomplice, Tresharene. We have THOUSANDS OF FUN having fun and making jokes and laughing and disturbing people. But one thing that I love about Tresharene is that she won't make you the scapegoat. Each time I sat with C, I would always be in trouble, Ms Sim would always scold me for influencing C. Mr Wong would say I'm so naughty and that I'm such a bad influence to C. Ms Tay said ever since I stopped sitting with C, C's improving. Ms Mok said that C is such a good person that I should tell her to study instead of playing. Ms Lee said that I should listen to C because C asked me to shut up. Hahaha. What they ALL don't know is that, apparently C's always asking me to do this and that. "Eugene, why don't you pour this rubbish on Jessica's head?". Then I would be like, "I did that before, why don't you do it?". Then C would be like, "I cannot, I got __________ (fill in the blanks of your preferred excuse)". That's why Jessica keeps talking to C and keeps hating me.
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Yes, I may not like a few people from my class but I'm treating Jessica as nicely as I can, but they all think I'm the one who's the big bully who bullies girls (what the fuck?), and they don't know that C's actually the mastermind of it all. I have to be blamed and scolded and what does C have to do? Act innocent, say, "No, I never did this" and gets to run away scot-free. I don't mind getting into trouble, but first, C, are you willing to get into trouble? If you're not willing to get into trouble, don't even bother asking me to do childish acts and cheap thrills to satisfy your incredibly cheap humour. Sorry for comparing but, the amount of mean acts I do with C and the amount of mean acts I do with Tricia, I think I prefer carrying mean acts out with Tricia to C. Because Tricia and I don't mind getting into trouble. C minds. C has been doing this since Secondary 2, what with the problems with Ms Susan Tan. I get to look like the bad guy (I don't mind though) but what annoys me is C gets to look like the innocent victim.
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Even in friendships, when we all agreed we didn't like someone, C would come out with all sorts of plans to make that person leave our clique. We would all agree and add some suggestions lah but, at the end of the day, me or one or two EXCEPT C, would look like the ones who drove that someone away. Not C. C gets to be the one in the clique who's innocent and won't do all such things. I get to look like the one who's behind all this because I seem like the one's ALWAYS behind all this. That's what stupid people don't understand. They think I'm always the bad guy! Fuck lor! Then C gets to be all innocent and pitiful. Stop acting, please! We all are utterly disgusted. Don't be so fake.
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There was this incident. All my classmates know. I was sleeping in class, C made a sign, "Selling myself for $10, blah blah blah". I woke up and everyone was staring at me. I laughed it off, never mind the humiliation, so I did the same sign for C, only it was, "Selling myself for Free", I made everyone look at her sign. Ms Lee came to confiscate both our 'selling' signs. Ms Lee told Ms Mok. Ms Mok asked us. I said I did it, hoping C would also admit it and we would just laugh it off. I said I did it. C looked at the signs, knitted her eyebrows and said, "Huh? No..?", with the kind of face like, "What the hell, I've never seen this before in my entire life!". Ms Mok thought I was the one who made both signs, one for myself and one for her. Do you know how much more humiliating and hurtful it was? To think Ms Mok thinks I'm actually crazy like, "Why would you say you're selling yourself for $10?".
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Conclusion: C doesn't like getting into trouble, but wants to see her best friends (or if she regarded us as her best friends) get into trouble. Even in MT class, Jasmine gets to be the scapegoat. C bangs the table, says its Jasmine, Jasmine gets scolded. C is not who you think she is because C makes it look like I did the whole thing 100%. C sleeps in class, I do my work. The next day, I sleep in class, she does her work. Third day, we both do our work. Ms Sim thanks C for changing me. All these teachers doesn't know because they think I'm the one who does EVERYTHING BAD. I may have done bad things, I admit but what freaking bugs me is the fact they think C's innocent!
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Of course, there's no C's side. What do you expect C to say, "Eugene did 50%, I did 50%, cheers!"?
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Issue #4:
(A and B's side)
The fact that we actually wanted to help her but she called us annoying. Maybe after that we chose not to help her, but to give her space. The fact that she doesn't even regard us as her best friends when she can cheerfully say, "I thank God for A and B!". If she regarded us as her best friends, she would accept our help, not let us be the only scapegoats, not lie to us, share problems with us.
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Overall Conclusion: I think there are more issues but I'm just too lazy to type. After that conversation, we said we would settle the rest of it, and it's partly our fault because talking to her about this won't help and we were rather SIAN talking to her. Then, people start asking her what happened between us and she told them stuffs, based on her own side. I want to know her side because she never told us how she felt. You all have heard my side of the story. I think it's basically 92% everything about the whole problem. Whether you choose to believe her, it's obviously entirely up to your own judgement and decision. Whether you choose to believe our sides, thank you but you are in no obligation to switch sides. You can stay neutral, thank you. But, I don't want anyone to hear just that ONE side. It's very unfair. Our sides may be the first you heard, so you haven't really heard C's side. Nevertheless, go find out. And yes, a few people may have asked me and I'm grateful that they chose to hear from my side of the story first.
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Outcome: Now that I'm fully satisfied this is all out, whether the friendship stays intact or not, I don't care because I've already given up. I don't care about her and her things and whatever you heard, you can tell me but just don't expect me to do anything because apparently, I'm annoying to her when we opt to help. This friendship is over. How much she thinks I know about her problems, yeah, I do know. I think I know almost everything about what's happening at her end. But at least, B and I had helped, how big or how small, it doesn't matter. We were supportive of her and whether or not she was supportive of us, it doesn't matter. Whether she appreciated it, that's another point. Whether she confesses to doing this, I don't know, I've got the conversation about her confessing she lied. As for the scapegoat part, none of it was in the conversation. So I guess she gets to lie about that.
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You guys don't have to feel sorry for this friendship because truth of the matter, I don't. I did because I cared but now that things happened, I don't care anymore. I think C knows how I could care about a friendship one moment and decide not to care about it anymore. So, C, this is for you: I'm tired of being with you because I am tired of being the scapegoat, being the one you lie to, being the one you manipulate, being a friend who has always supported you, turns up for most of your Floorball matches, gave you encouragement for your future/current life, waited for you for a couple of hours (and when I was late for 5 minutes you kao bei kao bu). I am tired. I am very pissed. But after this, I'll be happy because no more burdens and no more stress (except for 'O' Levels). You make me want to turn gay because of you.