Pure Black

MY NEW PERFUME! HAHAHAHAHA!
Looks like those you know, army water bottle.

There's no brand. Oh wait, it's ValueDollar! HAHAHAHA! It's like super super cheap! $2.90 only! And there's like this HUGEEEE SHELF of PERFUMES FOR MEN and I was like, OH MY GOD. I came out of the shop smelling like a life-sized perfume. I intend to BUY ALL THE PERFUMES!!! HAHAHAHA!

It smells super great! Now, I don't have to use my elder brother's Body Shop perfume! HAHAHAHA!

It came with this cool box too!

Oh, bought this with Jasmine and Jameson too. HAHAHA, we bought it for Atikah and Gladys as well.

I hope it doesn't look feminine on me, hahahaha!
And that's AIDEN.

TOLD YOU I GOT UP TO LIKE 500++ COMBO!

And I scored higher than before! HAHAHA! I'm aiming for 240. 00000++!

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HELLO EVERYBODY. KRIS ALLEN WON! Even though I'm slightly upset Adam Lambert should have won but the news said it all, Adam Lambert was actually predictable and New Yorkans were too cool to vote. Kris Allen was the guy-next-door and All-American guy and he could play the piano and even the guitar. So, yeah. But, Allison Iraheta's still the best! OMG and when she sang Time After Time (or whatever the song is called) with Cyndi Lauper (all of you know her, even if you don't, let me remind you she sang, "I see your true colours, shining through, I see true colours and that's what I long for, so don't be afraid to let them know your true colours". The lyric goes something like that.

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And that duet was THE BEST, duh! FERGIE AND THE BLACK EYED PEAS WERE AMAZING! The Kiss was HORRIFIC!!! EEEEEEEWWW! OMG, I was like, "EEEEEE!!!". Super disgusting and OMG, the reason why I get totally turned off when I hear such rock music. Bands like this, Slipknot and other screamo-bands totally TURN ME OFF. Some of the ousted contestants of the Top 13 had some out-of-tune performances but, what do I know right? I suck at singing for goodness' sake! HAHAHA.

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But, this Season 8's final results show is one of the BEST finale result shows ever among all the many other seasons. It was seriously funny! Katrina Darrell, the bitchy bikini-model who loves smooching Ryan Seacrest won this award for the Most Outstanding Attitude (I think), and so they showed a video of her and her attitude and dissing Kara Dioguardi, adding that, to Kara, "Well your demonstration wasn't any better..", and her eyeball-rolling, so, yeah, it was super hilarious when Darrell sang for the 7, 000 body and Kara Dioguardi suddenly appeared behind her singing and sort of like a decent cat-fight with Katrina. HAHAHA. You should have seen Katrina's look on her face, it was CLASSIC. HAHAHAHA! Even Kara bared her bikini-bod at the end of the 'cat-fight'. HAHAHAHAHAHA SUPER SUPER FUNNY! Classic!

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Enough of AI, HAHAHA, school was well, cool, I guess. Had Social Studies and Chemistry and there wasn't any teacher so I went out to have some food, HAHAHAHA! English was uhm, MAJOR EMBARRASSING SESSION, that happened after Ms Sim showed us some YouTube videos of like Adam Lambert and Kris Allen and Susan Boyle and then she called a few students out one by one, and totally embarrassing them -- I was one of them. HAHAHA. She said something like this, "Now, Eugene is the 4NA nerd," and other stuffs like, "Don't look at Eugene and think he's (IDK what she said... innocent, I think?) a good boy, he has a good heart but... there's one thing he likes to do... that is to... do his BHANGRA DANCE!", HAHAHA, it doesn't stop here, she carried on, "He would turn on his hand phone and play his tamil song and dance, with his partner... Tresharene!". HAHAHAHA. OMG. Damn embarrassing.

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Maths was good-boy time. HAHA, went to Compass Point for our Starbucks Coffee with Jameson and Jasmine! I've been longing for a cup of frappe or some drink from Starbucks Coffee ever since the Mid Years ended. I can say that my drink helped to relieve only like 5-10% of my stress. I'm still super stressed. As the day passes by, it's like, the stress is building up. No amount of caffeine can relieve all this, because it justs adds on more weight. Anyway, we walked around, and I PANGSAI LIKE TWICE? Hahaha! Damn shiok! Had our lunch at the Kopitiam and after that we went to window-shop! I have never mentioned before that I loved the prices at ValueDollar! And I'm seriously serious on buying that whole collection of perfumes.

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At least spending unnecessarily/necessarily helps to relieve another quarter of my stress. So it's like I'm feeling 70% stressed. I don't even know WHY am I still feeling stressed out. Mid Year exams are over. Oh oh oh oh oh, now I know why. It's because 'O' Levels is a freaking 5 months away from N.O.W. And, remember I said it seemed like a blink of an eye and now it's already what, April/May? YEAH. Wait till I say this again IN OCTOBER. HAHA, and don't get me wrong but I seriously had SUICIDAL thoughts. I have my principles and I DO NOT BELIEVE IN SUICIDES, they are NEVER the solution to your problems. But, it's like, this image flashes and I see... BLOOD coming out from my heart, stabbed by a knife and my hand's holding it. Or I see images like I'm FALLING from my apartment. Or or or, I see myself SWALLOWING 10 paracetamol pills and mind you, I have a freaking box of Panadol pills in my bag right now.

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HAHAHA, oh oh and I see myself suffocated by my very own pillow, and all the other what-nots. Does stress really behave like this? That you're so freaking stressed out, even though you do NOT believe suicide is the solution (I mean, obviously most of us do not believe that way too but...), you're still feeling like you should give up? Not only am I affected by stress in studies, but in relationships as well and many other aspects of life. You may say I'm doing well in studies and if you're not feeling stressed out, why should I? But, studies, relationships, money... My hair is even neglected! I don't even plan to cut hair even though I'm a short-haired-freak, of course, I have other reasons why I'm not cutting hair. But sometimes I just forget about my hair.

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It's not easy, man. I want to carry on but I fear as each step I make, I become more depressed and more moodless. I'm too afraid. Even as I'm afraid, I'm also stressed as to why I'm not making a move. If I take a step back, it'll be worst. If I take a step forward, it'll be worst. If I do not move on or move back, it'll be worst. I don't want to turn to God because I know I will be disappointed time and time again. I have my own reasons why I stopped church. I'm just mentally exhausted. I'm so terrified. Petrified. Fearful. Afraid. Scared. Intimidated. Pressurized. Can I stop pressurizing myself and can others stop pressurizing me? I'm thin and I won't grow thinner.