Hey, guess it's morning, eh? Alright, basically I downloaded Mozilla Firefox for one main purpose: To watch all my TV series. And, I did, for that matter. Plus, I was so bored I had to find something to do. I did, for that matter. And I completed Grey's Anatomy Season One! Yeah, I know. It's just 9 episodes. But, I hope I can finish all five seasons by the end of this holiday. I know, I know, I should study. But what the hell, right? Not only have I been watching Grey's Anatomy, I've also been watching 24 Season 7. Haha, I know, what the hell, right? Like, why can't I watch one series at a time. I don't know. Not only have I been watching Grey's Anatomy and 24, I have also started watching How I Met Your Mother. Gosh. I don't know what's wrong with me. It's like a drug. A drug that made you so high, blocked out all your sensory neurones so much so that you couldn't feel a single thing and now the effect's lasting and you're back to reality and you've got the pain coming, slowly, increasing, as the effect of that drug decreases.
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I don't know. I've had the worst feelings ever. I'm just at the bottom peak of everything. It's so stressful, it's so confusing, it's so hard. When did, whoever or God said you had to care about all of this? What if I don't want to? What if I just want to not want to to be able to make myself better? Want to know my personal drugs? TV series, and the recent trip to Malaysia. Those were the drugs.
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The drugs that simply put everything, every damn thing that has caused worries, aside. I just want to be set free. I want to be numb. I want that feeling that's dying to come back. I don't want the feeling that I've been avoiding and have been waiting to avoid. I want the adrenaline. I want to scream my lungs out so my worries can all eff off. I want that stupid bald patch that is caused due to STRESS to just freaking grow some hair. I want my pimples to just fly to somewhere else, on whoever. I want my head to stop aching each time a worry comes. I want paracetamol.
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I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm as confused as ever. It's probably the holidays that's making me as lonely as ever because I know this feeling. I've felt it. I'm at my worst. I don't know what to eat for the past months. I don't know what to do to motivate myself for the many months ago. I want to give up but even giving up needs some plan and some plan needs some worries. Even as everything falls apart, I know I'll pick them up again because I did at the end of last year. But I'm not sure how long I'll be able to hold on. Thanks Anonymous for the call. Really missed you and I'm in need of some serious help. Thanks to the rest, you know who you are and I don't need to name names and I'm hinting you but don't make yourself obvious, for standing by my side. Oh and if you genuinely don't care, don't act like you do because it seriously disgusts me.
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It's that time of the year again.
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Watch your fingertips. That's all there is to say.